Things that make every day different

Having had PTSD for so long it's hard to spot what is actually different in day to day life from other folks, but lets have a look...

Sleep - well, 'broken' springs to mind, followed by 'absent' and when I do sleep, I occasionally get a good 8 hours, often full of the most harrowing nightmares which can be either reliving something or something really nasty my mind made-up (as it has such great source material in my memory), either way I wake up shaken and traumatised, leaving me distant, shaken or fearful all day.

Memory - my short term memory is really fucked, I struggle to hold onto simple information, for example I recently made a softbox (photography thing) and when drawing out where to cut I measured x inches and then went to measure the same on the other side, literally a moment later, no idea what that x inches was. gone.

flashbacks - a loud bang, the smell of pork cooking, many many things Will set me off. What is a flashback? have you seen the first rambo movie? near the beginning when he's arrested and in the police station? that's what it's like.

sociability - turns out I don't socialise very well, tending to be quiet, disconnected and aloof, which is tricky given my work.

general fear and phobias - I live in London, crowded places are a bit scary as there could be anyone in that crowd with evil intent towards me, irrational but nonetheless there.
tube trains, how are you going to escape if it all goes wrong? answer - you are not. trapped. not a nice feeling. busses, when it's that crowded you really are at your most vulnerable.
cafe's and restaurants, I always sit facing the door and I am always aware of who's who in the room, who is being aware of the room, who may be carrying a weapon of any kind, who looks like they have a tendency for violence, which alternative exits there are, etc etc. it's fucking mad being me sometimes.

that's all I can think of right now, there is more for sure but my memory being what it is... you get the idea.